More howlers for Christmas
'Tis the season to be illiterate, apparently, as well as jolly. The following assaults on our language are nearly all taken from the letters page of a single issue of the Guardian. I refrain from naming their authors, since the editing of letters to the Guardian is famously done with a meat cleaver, so the letter writers could well be blameless:
* The most important defence for workers in the garment industry are independent and democratic trade unions.
* If these standards had been in place in southern Italy, these workers may have been spared the conditions they were forced to endure.
* While the EU quite rightly wants to place itself at the forefront of efforts to promote decent standards of work globally, but first we must guarantee that worker's rights are upheld within the EU .
* True, but the shortfall made up by the hard-working families is miniscule when compared to the deficit incurred by the unwillingness of others to cough up the taxes they should pay…
* While not wishing to question the law, nor to support creationism, a consequence of the second law is that the randomness of the universe is increasing…
And a different kind of clunker from the news pages of the same issue:
* Ben Dunne, one of the Irish businessmen criticised for making secretive payments to Mr Haughey, hit back…
Here's a (presumably unintentionally) revealing slip of the pen from a Sunday Times article about a footballer called Wayne Rooney and his 'girlfriend':
* I had eight sessions with him of three hours each at his Cheshire home, while working on his autobiography…
And a tailpiece from the Scotland Yard Crime Prevention Team Christmas email message:
* Theft from bags/handbags etc is a problem in shopping centres and bar’s/café’s at this time of year.
Could be a problem in the greengrocer's, too, I imagine.